I Declare A Winner In The Democratic Primaries

And the winner is... me. Why, you ask? Because even though I sometimes try to contribute to the political discussions on this blog, they mostly go way beyond my basic opinions about politics, which have pretty much been consistent since I realized that the slobbering douchebags in my university classes who were members of partisan youth groups were also the ones who would end up running for office. They go roughly as follows: as much as we are told that, as we grow older, politics should matter to us because knowing about them is what gives us power, they are in actuality about nothing more than vicious self-interest, grabbing at as much power and money as you can convince a bunch of idiots to throw at you, wearing ties, getting your teeth whitened and trying to craft plausible sounding justifications for being a complete and total asshole.
As much as it pains me to condemn such a great TV drama, I officially posit that it doesn't matter who wins the White House, because this primary fiasco has proven me right: all of these people are hot turd sandwiches with processed cheese and corn relish. As such, I win. And I pledge to henceforth post only about more important stuff, like cool audio products and panagrams and cat sharks.